No wrapping paper but it's still a gift...

It's funny how people say mean things to make you feel bad like as if you did something wrong. And I will fall for that crap 8 out of 10 times,I guess cause I've always felt that I'm not that good of a person to begin with, plus I hate feeling like I've hurt someone or let them down. When the truth is they're the ones that screwed up and messed up a very good thing. So if making me out to be the bad guy so you can keep from beating yourself up works for you or it helps you better swallow the fact that you ruined the best thing then go for it Merry Christmas it's my gift to you.

Ecko ski trip 09...

Tired isn't even the word.. I just got back from a 4 day ski trip with some of my youth kids and we had SO much fun...! From cracking up on the Ski lifts and Jennifer being on "ski crack" to being soar all over and some lady running straight into me while I was sitting down (her name was Mikala by the way, the youth boys thought that was very funny) we had way to much fun. can't wait to do it again....!

Before I lose myself..

Have you ever looked in the mirror and realized that the person your looking at you don't know...? I have, and I'm tired of sharing my life with this stranger and destroyer of my hopes and dreams. 2 Timothy 1:13-14....In the scriptures we read a lot about being on our guard, and we often times are very quick see that as we should be on guard from the "enemy" or Satan or bad people. When the truth of the mater is most of the time the thing we should guard ourselves from the most in the very same thing we see in the mirror everytime we look.. Whether we want to be real with ourselves and admit that the following statement is true or not it is... "(SELF) beat up Hope and (ME) stole My's dreams, while (I) just stood there and watched"

Until it's to late...

I Remember...

I remember when I felt like a lion, I remember when joy was full, I remember when Romans 8:31 was fresh, I remember when fun didn't equal sin, I remember when people didn't have there own motives, I remember feeling crazy, I remember when I had a 4wheeler, I remember when my tears meant God was close by, I remember when I wasn't scared, I remember when I used to sit on the roof all night, I remember when I held her for the first time, I remember when I found myself, I remember when I lost myself, I remember when I found myself, I remember when I looked up to people, I remember when I jumped for the first time, I remember the first time I prayed for someone to get them saved, I remember when she loved me, I remember when I thought wasn't going to make it, I remember seeing the son again, I remember knowing I was called, I remember letting myself down, I remember him picking me up, I remember when I found hope, I remember when I failed, I remember when I was in control, I remember when life became real, I remember knowing that this time....

Wake up America...!

Happy I did...

I decided to cash in my free ticket and come see Stephanie in PHX... And I'm happy that I did. I really enjoy being around her, mainly because we have so much in common. Today we had a huge breakfast and went hiking.

Tonight we're going to hear some live music and then playing cards hahaha...I'm having fun.

Never stop...

"No matter what the past is, it's the past and it has made you the person you are today." I've always known that to be a true statement, though there are things and people in my past I wish I would have been wise enough to stay away from. I can say that above it all I like the path I've chosen. I love helping youth become what God has chosen them to be. I like living my life full of joy and laughter. If the past year has taught me anything its that happiness comes and it goes, but self joy is forever if you want it. Trust me when I say if it's sin there is forgiveness. If it's a wrong there will come a right. If it's a broken heart it will heal. If you've lost hope, it's out there just look. Just never stop...!

I'm back

I know I haven't blogged in a long while, but I'm back.

Becareful what you say cause words do hurt... they grow us or kill us.

It's my Birthday...

I'd like to say I'm older and wiser... But I somehow still make the same mistakes. The one thing I can say is that I'm learning to see people for who they really and not just who I want them to be... And I'm learning to walk away even when I don't want to. So I guess you can say I'm growing, and since I've still got a lot of living to do I'm going to not beat myself up and take a win on this one. 8-) I deserve it I even kinda think I've earn it just a little. So to this Birthday I say hello to what I think is truly a new beginning, and goodbye to somethings/people that I believe are the past. (sorry guys that as much info as I'm giving on that one) I feel good, and I can see Happyness right are the corner, and this time it's not just me trying to put all of in in one person it's a person, a place, a calling, a freedom, a desire to truly change and I know God will help me. So all and all this birthday finds in a much better place then last year...! God is Good...!

First video blog...

Bucket List....

I was cleaning out the dresser in my room today and I found my old Bucket List...!

Bucket List = (Things you want to do before you die or "kick the bucket")


Here is mine.

1. Go to Hawaii
2. Skydive
3. Run the New York or Boston Marathon
4. Back Pack Europe
5. Scuba Dive
6. Slap a Bull
7. Publish a piece writing
8. Develop a photo in a Dark Room
9. Have a garden
10. Go to Jerusalem
11. Go to China
12. Ride in a Hot Air Balloon
13. Ride in the Cockpit of an Airplane
14. Take Emily to Disney World

* Numbers 1 and 5 I've done and number 4 we're doing in Jan 2010, I got close to number 6 but I chickened out hahaha... (Wild Hogs...! that's all I got to say) but I'm coming back for you Bull real soon...! Maybe I'll take my Swag with me this time to cheer me on*

Live Life to the Fullest

Blah Blah Blah....

So I got me a running partner for this years Urban Dare Race... and I'm very excited. If you haven't already clicked on the link to donate to the Urban Dare Race please do so. The race is to help fight against breast cancer. We all know someone who has been effected by cancer in some way, this is your chance to join the fight to beat this thing. Ok I decided that I'm to lazy to keep writhing on here so I'm going to start doing video blogs starting tomorrow.

Today is today... and we'll leave tomorrow for tomorrow

Hey hey everyone… today I practiced with my co-ed softball team. I’ll admit that it was kinda weird to be out there because for some time now softball has held some bad feelings for me. But I’ve learned that the past is the past and you have to let something’s go and not allow it to control your future. It felt good to run around and catch / throw balls like I used to. Our first game is Sept 8th so I have a lot of work to do to get back to where I was and better. I have some fun things coming up in Sept softball starts, I go to Detroit on the 11th and my birthday is on the 18th. I wanted to go sky diving for my last birthday but was denied because I weighed too much to tandem jump but since my Northeast vacation I have lost 14 lbs its crazy I know. I feel a lot thinner also its cool. Saturday I went running and after 10 minutes of straight running it was like I just got on the machine. I guess that’s easier to do when you’re carrying 14 less lbs hahaha. Well tomorrow I start my “training” for the Urban Dare Race to raise money for Breast Cancer. I read a cool article about the proper calorie in-take a person should have based on there goals and workout life. So for me I’m going to keep it to 1,500 to 2,000 healthy calories and workout everyday for starters and see how that works out for me. My goal is to lose 10 more lbs by my birthday. I don’t know why I just like to get on the scale in the mornings and see that my weight has gone down. OK here are some things I’ll put out there but not write more about lol… 1. I think I read too much into other people’s Myspace and I over think crap maybe. 2. I haven’t rode my 4wheeler in a few weeks and I miss it (I’ll have to change that) 3. I bought two pair of jeans yesterday and they weren’t Levi’s which is big for me hahaha. 4. I’m scheduled to get a tattoo on Wednesday so we’ll see. 5. I know the Gov is hyping up this new heath care plan but living in Detroit all those years and still seeing people from Canada cross over to Detroit to receive heath care because there “system is screwed up” kinda makes you wonder. Ok I opened a paypal account for you guys and your friends to donate to the Urban Dare Race fund. The link is right there to the right of your screen thank you guys for your help.

The Urdan Dare

Well some of you know that my mother right after me moving back to Texas had a battle with Breast Cancer. And by the Lord’s Grace she won. Needless to say this is an issue that has become close to my heart and I have been looking for a way to some how help breast cancer research. I also have been on this health kick here lately and I find that I do better if I set goals for myself like the weight lose challenge between me and some friends and also Mika and I. Anyway I have decided to train for a triathlon (I’m pausing now to let you stop laughing) 8-) Ok you done..? I was looking online for triathlons here in the state of Texas and I found one that I think will be more up my alley. https://www.signmeup.com/site/reg/register.aspx?fid=J72V5K7 I am currently looking for another runner who would be interested in joining me in the race. Maybe even dress up. Our goal doesn’t have to be to win as much as it would be to have fun and have a great experience as well as just complete the race. I have decided to blog about my journey to the race as far as getting in shape and practicing for the challenges hahah. The best part of this whole thing is that the entire proceeds go to fight against Breast Cancer. I will also set up a paypal or bank account to raise money for this event, my partner and I will pay our own fee to enter the race but I would also like to present them with an additional check of moneys that we have raise for fight against Breast Cancer. So please because a follower of my blog. http://hereiswhatisay.blogspot.com/ and check it often and become a part of this cause it would really mean a lot to me to be able to present them with a sizable check. I’ll do my best to make sure people who donate will receive a tax credit. This will be fun, join me.

My trip Detroit...

I just got back from Detroit Thursday afternoon and I must say that I have really missed that city. The people, the life, the noise and most of all my beautiful daughter Emily. My heart melted when I saw her. The moment I looked into those huge brown eyes the stress of my life all but went away. If you don't have kids or have never been away from them for a period of time you wouldn't understand the joy that fills your heart when you reconnect with them again. The first thing we did when I picked her up was go get pancakes...!!!!
It's one of our favorite things to do. After that we went to the mall because make no mistake she is all girl through and through... The next morning we went to a new water park that opened up in one of the Metro parks by her house called Turtle Cove.

I was actually pretty impressed with that place we will have to go back next month when I re-visit Detroit. The hotel we stayed at only had one room available which was the jacuzzi suite so the lady was nice enough to give me a crazy discount on it so I took it.. hahaha... I told Emily it was an indoor pool so she played in it a lot. I'm surprised she didn't want to invite her friends over to swim in it.

Each morning we would head down to get breakfast and I taught her how to make her own waffles in the waffle machine thing that have at most hotels it was cute. Throw in some duck feeding and ice cream at Mr. Freeze's along with some backyard volleyball and we had a great afternoon my last day there. I can't wait to see her again...!

Son's Gonna Rise

Tonight I danced in the living room by myself to drums and guitars till I became dizzy... Sometimes you have let go of all your stress and just have fun, not caring how you look.. And on top of that, I felt like Frank The Tank tonight 8-) 8-) 8-) 8-) (some of you will get that)

The Mountains win again...

This morning woke up feeling good...

Ok so I know some of you wanted me to explain my blog that said "I feel like Icarus, deceived by my own heart" and I wrote out a blog shortly after explaining what I was saying and what I meant by it, and I guess who Icarus was for some of you hahaha... And even though this blog was one that I actually liked after I was done writing it I didn't post it and I'm not going to. Mainly because I don't want to go there anymore, so if you still want to read the blog just text me or email me or comment me on here giving me your email address and I'll send it to you.

OK that's that. So everyone also say that God blesses me to no end, and I believe that myself also and I'm very thankful for his hand on my life. I give God credit for everything good in my life past, present, and future. Even when bad thing happen to me God will always turn them around for my good and bless me. Today is no different, somebody went down my block and knocked off everyone's mail boxes 8-( so everyone has to go down to the post office for the next 2 weeks and get there mail... so today when I go to get the mail and it was all stacked up. So it took awhile to go through it all, but what do you know I got a letter from my travel agent that I won a FREE Caribbean Cruise for 2....! (can you believe that).

Apparently last year when we went to Hawaii I went into a travel agency and signed up to win and I along with several other couples I won...! It is an all expenses paid 4 days 3 night cruise.. And so since it's an adults only cruise Emily can not come so now I'm going blackmail my friend to see who gets the other ticket hahaha jk. But really..! I wear size 12 shoe, XL shirt and 36-38 waist in Levi's hahaha really Im joking. God is so good...

I'm about to go golfing for a few hours. Yessss...!

I think I'm going to make a few video blogs instead of typing them out cause I'm lazy. 8-)

Be safe and God bless...!

It's been awhile... lot's to say...

First let me say that I love my friends, and my youth kids. They are the best. When they sit around and think of ways to make you laugh you know your loved. Here is a pic that Kacee and Jordan made of me


they say it makes me look like Oprah..! I don't see it...

The guys are taking me golfing Friday and I'm excited cause I haven't been in awhile.

OK I went to the lake on July 4th and had a lot of fun.








After the Lake I went to go see my best friend Robby, I had a lot of fun.

Ok so I've decided to buy a bike when I get back from Detroit and for the entire month of August I'm going to give up my car and only ride the bike everywhere I go... well it's just a thought right now but the more and more I think about it I'm wanting to do it. I know when I lived in Detroit I would ride my bike places but with the city being so big I couldn't do anything like this. And for right now living in the city I live in it's possible. I'm on this health kick right now I ran 30 mins straight at the gym today and it felt great if I would have had more time I could have and would have went longer... I think the bike thing will be cool.. We'll see.. (don't laugh)

OK. Here recently I started watching this girl on youtube... she is funny if you have the time you should check out her videos. There are a lot of them.


Ok so Michael Jackson past away and my heart goes out to his family.

Jennifer and I are throwing a "Micheal Jackson" costume/game party soon so be on the lookout for your invitation. It should be really fun we're planing it now. Well I know I was all over the place but it's been awhile. God bless and stay safe.

Sometimes we hurt...

I feel like Icarus, deceived by my own heart

God Bless America...

Happy July 4th everyone… Well its 5am and I’m up and packing, headed to San Angelo, Tx to the Lake for a few hours then on to Austin, TX where Robby is dragging me to some July 4th concert with all his crazy Austin-knight friends. Well I shouldn’t say drag because I’m happy to be going, and getting away. The past two weeks have been for a lack of a better term “mind draining”. My fault mostly so now that I have the chance to tube and board on the Lake and hang with Robby for a couple of days for some “mind freeing” good times I’m excited. So be safe everyone and enjoy your time off. Keep praying for our troops until they come home the right way. GOD BLESS AMERICA.

Under Control...

After reading the latest blog on 90 Days Without Myspace! I began to think about all the feeling I had of Emily when she was first born. When I think about the way I felt back then I get kinda sad because I realize that for the first year of her life I was so fearful that I would lose her. I read this article about S.I.D.S. and it said that for the first year of a child's life (on average) this might occur. And so for the first year of my daughter's life I wouldn't allow myself to fully fall in love with this beautiful little angel. I remember when she turned one I felt such a release in my heart of love for her. I told myself way back then that I would never again let fear control my heart. I told myself that I would love big and love easy and often because I never want to miss another "year" of loving anything or anyone.




under control parachute

This is changing me..

If you know me at all you know I've been listening to Joyce Meyers for years now and it never fails that when I'm going through something God has always used a word from her to move me, and right now this word is changing my life. I can really say that. Hopefully it can help you also. (there are 2 more videos in this teaching/preaching look them up)

No Excuses..!

We all fall down. Get up...!




Don't every let your mistakes be the end of you. No matter how many times you fall down get up, and keep moving forward to a better place in your life... It's there.

Come to the Edge.....

Christopher LOGUE
English poet (1926- )

Come to the edge.
We might fall.
Come to the edge.
It’s too high!
COME TO THE EDGE!
And they came,
and he pushed,
and they flew.


I've always been a little afraid to live on the edge. I guess it's because your doing things that haven't been done or walking place where there are no footprints. I thinks it's natural to have some fear and doubt at first, but never stop in that place of fear and doubt always press on. I think at this point of my life I'd rather be a pathfinder then try and fit my feet in the trails of another man. My dreams are special and I've grown to love them because they're mine. They're my footprints to leave behind as a legacy to this world. So I come, he push, I fly...!

Patrosky to Peter to Patrosky to Peter again....

By far hands down Peter in the Bible is my favorite person because of how real he was. I can totally relate to a person that is so full of zeal for the Lord that you do crazy things. When you look at Peter, though he is always with the other disciples he is always written about alone. When Peter walked on the water he wasn't alone the other disciples were there but he had the courage to step out. On the day of Pentecost and everyone was filled with the Holy Spirit Peter stood up with the other 11 disciples but only he spoke... I guess what I'm trying to say is that many will stand up but only few will stand out. I would rather live my life like Peter, full of passion and ready for action cutting off ears and cursing at children lol.. But for real I never want to settle into a life of comfortable choices and fallen dreams. In the movie Transformers the girl (who's name is Mikaela by the way) asked the guy if they should get in the car (Bumble bee) after they just watched these "cars" turn into robots and fight each other. She was scared and asked if they should get into the car and go. He looks at her and says "do you want to look back 50 years from now and say you didn't have the guts to get in the car" that's my favorite line of that movie or in Brave Heart right before the big fight he tells them "they can run and live, but one day when there old and gray and in there beds they will give up every day from then till now to come back and face there oppressors for there freedom" I never want look back and say that I let fear stop me from living a life full of adventure or complacency got in the way of my dreams especially when it comes to the things of God. I want to walk on water, swim to the shore instead of paddle, rush the tomb, fight the soldiers, live like Simon but have my name changed to Peter, and at the end of it all go out still knowing that I am not worthy.

Starting a new...

The past few days I have kinda been on a roller coaster. I felt like Daniel in the the Lions den. But God is always faithful. Have you ever felt like you were walking along with God just doing good and then you look up and your the only one in some dark alleyway with no one around (and not some cool NYC alley where you can just pull the fire escape down and go up to the 5 floor and dance all night) wait that's Save the Last Dance 8-) but rather it's a place where you completely feel that you have lost sight of God. I feel that Ive had one of those weeks.

I'm the guy that always has to be chasing a dream or working to bring about some prior made plan. I love setting goals and making them happen.I love to live life to the fullest and here lately I've found myself just plain bored... I just got back from vacation which provided a break from being bored but now that I've returned I found myself back to being bored. My favorite band when I was in college was Edwin McCain, and he has a song call "what matters"... If you've never heard it you should. When I was younger I would climb on top of my house in the afternoons and I'd watch the sun set while I would dream "To be continued"

What a woman shows, but a man see's

Ladies a man can se the things you do, even when you can’t. Even when you yourself can’t see the vibe you’re putting off, we can. And often times we make the mistake of assuming that it’s the message you are trying to send when that may not be the case at all. I watched the TV program the other day where there was a panel of men were on stage and women were standing up one by one and asking them to explain the way men think or answer certain question for them but from a man’s point of view. And one woman stood up and said that she believes that men are scared of her because she is a successful women… and right about the time that I laughed the man on TV laughed also. He said that if she doesn’t have a “rap sheet” then he or no man is scared of her. And that is so true. Her way of thinking is a bit prideful I feel. I feel that women that think this way are thinking a little too highly of themselves. And you best believe that most men share this opinion. Another thing women do that men hate is when a woman acts like she doesn’t need him or any man for that matter. Like we men are a part of there life that they can take or leave just like that. Most women bring that attitude into the relationship also whether they want to or not its some kind of defense mood they have to not get hurt like not talking about there man to other people or portraying to everyone that they’re crazy happy and completely caught up in him because what if something goes wrong or he leaves then she will be made to look like a fool. But when a woman acts like she doesn’t need a man, like he is just an add-on to her life like a purse and shoes he doesn’t see that as her being strong and independent, he see’s it as her not being vulnerable or “all in” that relationship and “if she is not “all in” or vulnerable, then why should I be” the man says. Women can usually dictate the affection she wants from a man even the amount both good and bad by her “honest” showing of her feelings

A man won't date is mother...!

Every since I can remember my mother has always been there and though she has always proven her love for me she like most mother has nagged and complained at me for almost my entire life hahaha… From “clean your room” to “tuck in your shirt” to “you never call enough” (that one being my favorite) why would we call if all there going to do is complain but that beside the point… even now our mothers will still find things to complain about, they may be little things but they are constant. And with this constant ear full today’s man have the words complaint and mother as equal. Mothers can be a “nag” and no love be lost from there sons to them, it’s the beauty of being a mother. Now other women on the other hand don’t have such magic. Men have you every been with a woman that complains ALL THE TIME….? I have and it stunk…! Sometimes I think women just complain because they have mouths. Every man has at some point found himself starring in the face of the women that he is dating or married to, shoot sometimes on the first date and watching her mouth go a million miles an hour abut something that in his mind is just not that serious. And Im not talking about something that a man just doesn’t find important but it is to a women like put the toilet sit back down. I’m talking about something silly like the TV being to loud or him finding a parking spot. Things that you really can over look I feel most men will, but something in a women’s head just won’t let her overlook it she has to say something and give the man an ear full. I feel most women live by a double-standard. Take the situation with the couple John and Kate plus 8 though I don’t and never will agree with John leaving Kate for another women it didn’t take me by surprise, From the first show I saw I said to myself “man she treats him like crap..!” men will only take so much before he starts seeing you like his mother and once that happens he is on his way out the door. In the end a man will stay longer then he should for “good” sex or friendship in women, but just know women eventually those things can be replaced… But his mother can not. So stop trying to. I say all this but let also say that I’m happy that God has brought a woman into my life that makes me happy

Why do Bad things happen to Good people...?

Ok about a week ago I was asked the question "if God is real why do Bad things happen to Good people...?" You know, to understand or even just wrap your mind around this question you have see the difference in coincidence vs. choice. You see God loves us enough to give us "free will" meaning we as humans can obviously do whatever we want whether it's be in love or hate a person, drink and drive, love God or not. Love isn't really love unless you have the option to love. We choose to love God, we choose to go to church and lift our hands in surrender telling the Lord we love him... And that's what makes it such a sweet fragrance to the Lord. We have free will and still choose to love him. But now with that same free will we can choose to make bad "choices" and some times the result of that bad choice hurts not only us but other people as well. Take the story of the man that chooses to drink and drive and while driving he hits the pregnant woman and kills her and her baby. This of course makes God sad but we can't blame God because of the "choice" made by another. We can't thank God for loving us enough to give us this gift of free will, (and yes it is a gift, God could have made us robots) and then begin to doubt God or get angry with him when he doesn't step in and take back the free will once given. It's not fair. When the two parties involved are both human, (meaning like not a fallen coconut from a tree or lighting hitting a tree and making it fall on the road) but rather two humans the outcome of their actions are a result of choices not coincidence. In a sense its "out" of God's hands.

Homosexuality

Now granted these are 'my thoughts' and since it's 'my blog' I'm going to speak freely for a minute. When it comes to the subject of homosexuality I have a wide range of feelings and emotions. I feel that here in America our feelings, whether for or against, are usually summed up with one question, "Are you for or against?" In my opinion this question is silly because you're asking someone if they are for or against something that for the most part includes either a friend or family member. Most of us have either a friend or family member that is gay. So if you don't have the time to sit down and have 'real' conversations about gays in America then I would rather you just not ask me the typical question "How do you feel about homosexuality?" My feelings can't be summed up in the answer "I'm against it" mainly because in today's society to be 'against' homosexuality is no longer about being against the sin only but rather your saying "I hate the person." For me that is just not true. I have nothing against anybody that would like to make that their lifestyle, but I should be allowed to simply have a view on the matter without being made out to be this discriminating, hating, un-kind gay basher. I mean come on where does the line for equality begin and end? Or does it begin and end with whatever makes the gay community happy because the way I see it is if my gay friend (yes I gay friends and I would go to bat for them all and they know this about me also) chooses to be gay by choice I should be allowed to say to them I disapprove of your lifestyle so on that level we now differ but on the level of love, compassion, friendship, trust etc. nothing has changed. I guess what I'm trying to say is tolerance and love are two different things. I love my friends that have chosen that lifestyle, but I shouldn’t have to tolerate it being FORCED in my kid's school and their teachings. I should be able to teach them the way I believe without society looking at me like Im spreading a message of hate. Never let us forget that our family and friends, maybe even you have served and fought, some even died for the rights of homosexuals, but those rights should never be given at the expense of another person’s rights. We as American should stop being lazy and have a for real conversation about our feelings on the matter.

Kissy Face...!

Guys have you every known a girl in every photo she takes she makes this weird looking kissy face at the camera…? As if she works for some lip gloss or lip stick company that requires her in every photo to show off her usually not so plump lips. So women if you don’t work for Revlon Im asking you to take my advise and stop. I mean sure it was cute and fun/sexy for the first 5000 women that did it but by the time you being the 5,976,643,829,763,902 women that decides to huddle up in some smoky bar or in front or the bathroom mirror while you wait for your friend to come out of the restroom stall you begin to put your hand on your hip and get ready to blow a kiss to the camera just remember that by now we men find it just plan annoying.